Are Women In the Workplace Groomed for Grooming?

Women in the workplace normalize professional grooming. Hearing the Chavez women, lying or leading with sexuality has been how Latin women sadly stay afloat in many non equitable situations. But the action of forcing women to weaken boundaries in the workplace, isn’t race synonymous. This tactic has been taught by other women as a form of not being seen as “emotional” or mentally weak. The notion of “getting the job done”, tests boundaries of what is expected beyond professional requirements, even when many identify these methods as exploitative.

Until sex enters the conversation, its never seen as harassment. Other women are notorious for telling other women do things like work after hours, do extra things to be seen as a team player. Doing things like working for free or bending the rules to show a little extra effort, with false promises later gains. Even routinely driving their coworkers to handle after the clock task without even so much as a thank you. Buying their lunch, anything women felt, if they didn’t do it, would affect office morale and opportunity, sets the stage for more uncomfortable requests.

It’s Time To Stop the Lie

Coercion has become so much apart of workplace culture for women, that when you hear molesters bring up power as it’s motivator, without sex, isn’t forcing someone to do work task because it’s possible, seen as the same brand of crossing the line? Or is it only when sexual coercion becomes involved, now its bad?

Women’s All Lives Matter Gets A Pass

Women will cancel a man or anyone who even speaks of All Lives Mattering. But no one is more all lives matter than women. Despite knowing the specific experiences of Black, Latina, Asian, Gay, and White women being systematically different (especially in the workplace), women are bullied into conforming to smaller spaces to push bigger things, even at the expense of their own safety.

Its not even fair to single out White women, because those women who believe in God even get ostracized when that believe doesn’t align with a COGIC system. Or even White women who grow up with good relationships with their fathers are shouted down in project management meetings (real talk, White on White women arguments are hella meta btw, seriously wth).

Just as bubbly Black women are constantly tried and humbled, or Latin women who aren’t colorist are told to clique up. Even Asian women who speak up, there is a dominance that is lead by the women majority in workspace that eventually ignores each women’s individual need for safety. When a dumb ass movement starts, it completely erases safe spaces, especially when an agenda is prioritized over the project or consideration of a women’s racial identity.

The Violence of No

Women will treat saying no, like being forced to eat literal shit. And the cultural narrative of “Oprah says to say no,” many women parroted in the late 2000’s but it went over a lot of people’s head. Saying no for a lot of women is seen as violent and obstinate. For men, saying no means no to sex, rebellion (for the sexist) , or to try harder. For some women saying no, means being difficult so they say “no” professionally but still end up compromising to not seem harsh. Saying yes has been aligned with femininity for a lot of women. Nurturing and making people feel comfortable to especially to maintain toxic peace. But in the workplace where engagement is essentially supposed to be gender neutral, it leaves many women vulnerable for getting used really easily.

Never Gamble With Unsafe Spaces

For some men (and enlightened women) it’s their jobs to give women that work, providing encouragement that saying no sometimes, isn’t a loss of opportunity but, setting a boundary until the opportunity makes sense. The problem women will say yes to dysfunctional shit because it presents nicer to their ego but, in the end destroys them mentally, physically, and sometimes even financially. They’ll say no to things that require them to lean on reality, and then miss out of opportunity that simply require a bit more effort. And instead of falling for that girl power mess, women need to have preparedness training on how to disengage or “engage” when a man just won’t get it. Use that smartphone culture for good and not Stan culture beefs. Not saying you gotta go all Jane from Paradise but, feminism is failing women for not teaching race-based workplace discernment. Because not all women will encounter harassment the same.

Stop Pleasing Others If Your Safety Is At Risk

There isn’t a clear reason why so many women create this distorted notion of falsely living the soft life in harsh circumstances. But it’s time for women to not be afraid of missing out, especially if the opportunity comes with dangerous concessions.

For women, it’s not money, but rather accepting, not all opportunities are good opportunities, if more than your soul is at stake. If a man or women asks you do more than your job, it’s only a matter of time the request will wear down your boundaries and you start making excuses, calling workplace sacrifices as collateral abuse. So make the mental note of removing yourself sooner than later.

And yes, being blackballed is a real thing so be prepared to leave on your own terms, but keep your incidents in your back pocket. And stop listening to Auntie church culture of thinking you have to take one for the team. That team shit is a lie, cause notice the team doesn’t get paid or have the same workloads. Also know that others see the creep shit too, so don’t get defensive or competitive when you’re warned. That man warning you wouldn’t want his mother, wive, or sister in that situation. And that women you see as an OPP, jerk or not might be a holder of valuable information of potential danger, in the workplace.